SATIRE
Follow Us“A style of Test cricket in which the batting side attempts to gain the initiative by playing in a highly aggressive manner.”
That’s what the definition of Bazball is, at least according to Collins Dictionary. And that’s the only stable definition we have to date.
Because this goalpost shifts far more often than an employee when he doesn’t want to work on a weekend, but one thing has been fixed, and for good: Bazball has revolutionised Test cricket globally.
We list all the things that have happened as a result of Bazball
Mitchell Marsh comeback
While Australia might not thank Brendon McCullum and Ben Stokes, it was only because of them that Mitchell Marsh made a comeback in Test cricket. Once self-proclaimed as a villain in Australia, Marsh not only overturned his fortunes but also went on to become an integral part of the Australian setup.
Four years without red-ball action, Marsh made a stellar comeback with 118 at Headingley, an innings that injected life back into Ashes. Since making his comeback, Marsh has scored 670 runs, averaging 47.85 and striking at 70.52. In case you were wondering, his strike-rate was 56.16 before his comeback.
He really owes Bazball that Allan Border medal, doesn't he?
Yashasvi Jaiswal’s daddy hundreds
“When you see players from the opposition playing like that, it almost feels like we should take some credit that they’re playing differently than how other people play Test cricket,” said Ben Duckett in response to Yashasvi Jaiswal’s blistering century.
England, and in particular, Bazball, has to take credit for Jaiswal’s growth in international cricket. Jaiswal scored 971 Test runs, with 655 coming against Stokes and co, in the Bazball era. His strike-rate was just 54 and 58 in the two series he had played before the series against England.
But guess what? Jaiswal took off after watching England’s approach, scoring his runs with a strike-rate of 78. Not just that, he scored two double-hundreds, with one of them even coming at a strike-rate of 90. If not for Bazball, Jaiswal would have really found it tough, ergggghhhh.
Oh, Root, pillar of Bazball
Oh, that's a stunning shot, a reverse ramp; Joe Root is adopting Bazball methods quickly.
Root's strike-rate has seen a drastic jump from the 50s to the 70s. Oh, the effects of Bazball are now reflecting on Root's staggering transformation. Look at all the shots that he now plays, oh my Root.
Wait, Root opening the bowling? Ah, I have to doff my hat to Bazball, man. They have revolutionised cricket.
Say what? Root has spent over 362 minutes at the crease for his 122? He's defending the ball? Baaaaaazzzzzballllllllll.
Nathan Lyon, the nighthawk
“For example, we renamed what the nightwatchman is all about. We called it Nighthawk. That was Broady. He was going out with half an hour left to play to try to literally slog. That’s where we are at the moment, it’s awesome,” said Ben Stokes when coming up with the idea of Nighthawk.
Release the nighthawk. England’s brain child has caught the attention of the rest of the world. See Nathan Lyon. He walked in when the score was 4/2 in the second innings of the first Test in Wellington. With the team’s back against the wall, Lyon put on a real show with the bat.
Lyon didn’t defend. He didn’t play like how a nightwatchman would have played; he played like a……. Nighthawk. Lyon scored 41 off 46 deliveries, an innings that was laced with six boundaries, striking at 89.13 when the average strike-rate was 45.7.
The fact that Lyon, the nighthawk, demolished New Zealand was a testimony of Bazball.
Ireland beating Afghanistan
You heard that news, right? Ireland beat Afghanistan, becoming the second European team to beat an Asian team in Asia in the last year.
Guess which was the first team?
England. They beat Pakistan in Pakistan with some swashbuckling cricket. Following the footsteps of England, Ireland beat Afghanistan in tough conditions, where they attacked mercilessly.
And to do it with their pacers putting on a show is only possible because of Bazball.
Glenn Phillips taking a five-wicket haul
16 years.
That’s how long it has been since a New Zealand spinner has picked up a five-wicket haul in an innings at home. That’s a long time. But the reality is that it only took two years to break that drought.
That’s Bazball. In just two years of Bazball, the record is broken. And broken by a batter who bowls off-spin. If your mind immediately wanders to Joe Root, you are wrong. Will Jacks was the last off-spinner to pick up a five-wicket haul before Shoaib Bashir.
A batter who bowls part-time off-spin. That was the blueprint that New Zealand blindly followed. They just told Phillips to watch Jacks’ highlights from Pakistan, and he delivered a five-wicket haul.
Nothing that a good Bazball highlight can’t do.
Will O’Rourke making his Test debut
A raw pacer who can bowl his heart out.
We are not talking about Mark Wood. We are talking about Will O’Rourke, the latest New Zealand pace sensation. When was the last time you saw New Zealand unearth a pacer? Shane Bond?
They have been quite settled with seam bowlers in their setup. But O’Rourke is a pace-bowling demon who clocks high pace. Why has this happened, you may wonder, out of the blue?
Bazball.
The fact that he was born in the United Kingdom makes it more fascinating.
Ashwin learning the art of off-spin from Bashir
You wouldn't have ever imagined that in your wildest dreams, right?
That's the power of Bazball. Even the greatest of off-spinners that this generation has seen has turned into nothing but a club cricketer. If not for Shoaib Bashir teaching Ravichandran Ashwin how to bowl in the Ranchi Test, India would have never been able to make that comeback.
It isn't that Bashir is the new Ashwin; it is Ashwin who is the new Bashir.
India picking Dhruv Jurel
India picking Dhruv Jurel; who would have thought of that happening?
With just 15 First-Class appearances and just one India ‘A’ tour, the Indian management did not hesitate one bit to trust a ‘relatively unproven’ talent. That’s straight outta Bazball playbook. And the result also was there for everyone to see; it was only possible because of Bazball.
Jurel scored 46, 90 and 39* in his three innings at the Test level. In his knock of 90, Jurel mostly batted with the tail, something that Ben Stokes has made a habit of, and the right-hander’s knock was just a tribute to Stokes’ innings at Lord’s. India pulled off a comeback win, and it is only a fitting tribute to Bazball.
No wonder Ben Foakes has a 'man crush' on Jurel.
P.S Bazball has not just taken over the market, but it is the MARKET. All the others merely draw inspiration from Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum.
