SATIRE!!!
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“Rohit Sharma and Virat Kohli should play in the Ranji Trophy.”
“The great Sachin Tendulkar didn’t even ignore the Ranji Trophy.”
“Let’s see if they play the Ranji Trophy. Otherwise, it is an insult to Indian cricket.”
It was clear as daylight that the loss against Australia had triggered a new dawn in Indian cricket. BCCI and the new head coach, Gautam Gambhir, were very clear in their direct approach, requiring two of the biggest names in Indian cricket to participate in the tournament.
If you were wondering, it is the same tournament the Indian cricket searches every year to ignore some of their biggest names. Yup, the biggest of the names then go overseas to run drinks.
The spotlight is definitely on Kohli and Rohit, not to mention Delhi and Mumbai, the two states they will represent in the upcoming round of the Ranji Trophy. While Mumbai will face Jammu and Kashmir, Delhi will play Saurashtra.
How did it all pan out?
January 23, 2025 - Mumbai vs Jammu and Kashmir
Bandra-Kurla Complex Ground, Mumbai
Rohit arrives at the venue in his iconic blue Lamborghini Urus. He walks to the centre pitch with the utmost confidence of winning the toss. The match referee asks Rohit to spin the toss, and the 38-year-old wins the toss and opts to bat first.
“So, Rohit, who is going to open for Mumbai?” was the question at the toss.
The 38-year-old replied, “Of course, it will be me; the youngster (I forgot his name) who scored 150 last week will play in the middle order”.
The conditions are quite overcast and gloomy. Rohit walks out to bat, and the crowd at BKC goes wild, chanting “Rohit, Rohit, Rohit”. Some break the chants with “Mumbai cha Raja, Rohit dada”.
They are up against J&K, not the easiest of oppositions. But luckily for Rohit, they have not had a choice but to include Umran Malik in the playing XI. Rohit is taking strike and off the second ball, he guides one towards the third-man region for a four.
You may call it streaky, but that was an educated edge against Auqib Nabi. There’s Rasikh Salam from the other end, trying to bounce Rohit off, but the Indian skipper has just lifted that ball straight to Ghatkopar.
The crowd is buzzing; they have never seen a batter who can easily pull deliveries. But he’s not any batter; he’s Rohit. None of the early swing is hampering Rohit’s confidence. He’s looking unbreakable.
But just as we say, J&K are ready to unleash their weapon and bring Umran into the attack. He’s come into the setup at the expense of Yudhvir Singh, who had a fine outing against Tripura last time.
First ball, Umran bowls a bouncer, and Rohit hooks that off for a fantastic six. Rohit has already raced off to 31 off 20 balls on a tough wicket. But that’s when Umran bowls a juicy full-toss, which Rohit edges straight into the hands of the wicketkeeper.
31 off 21. But what a selfless knock for the team.
During his stay at the crease, Rohit was also seen chatting with the umpires and advising them on how to take DRS. He’s already shown what he’s worth, and the selectors are happy. They are happy that he’s sharing valuable inputs with some of the important members of the squad, like Ajinkya Rahane.
January 23, 2025 - Delhi vs Saurashtra
Saurashtra Cricket Stadium, Rajkot
Elsewhere in Rajkot, a Ferrari has buzzed up to the venue. In all redness, as if the vehicle was a fanboi of Royal Challengers Bengaluru (RCB). The prodigal son of the soil, Kohli, had returned to play for Delhi for the first time in over a decade.
At 8.30 AM, an hour before the start, he’s out in his jacket kicking the football around, even scoring a freekick like Cristiano Ronaldo (Virat’s follower). Minutes later, he walks around the venue, taking the mickey out of the opposition skipper, Jaydev Unadkat. Similar to the toss result in BKC, Delhi are batting first.
The ball is hooping miles. It is almost seaming wayward. With Delhi at 8/1, all the pressure is on Kohli to deliver. Not only does he see through the initial spell, but he plays the long game, soaking in all the pressure, taking 81 deliveries to score three gracious-looking cover drives.
But quickly after that, he gets out in his trademark fashion against Chirag Jani, almost nothing of a delivery, outside the sixth stump line. However, by then, he had already dazzled his crowd with the umpteen number of plays and misses in the fifth-stump channel with an 81-ball 18, his slowest knock in domestic cricket.
At 47/2 in 20 overs, Delhi have seen through the tough part of the match here in Rajkot. But a huge task awaits Rishabh Pant, who too has been advised to go back to domestic cricket, to sort out his technique.
Unadkat to bowl. Pant is on strike. He bowls a short ball, and Pant doesn’t hesitate; he reverse ramps one over the third-man region for a six. A ball later, he wiltz is way down the track for a maximum over the sight screen. It is all too easy at the moment for Pant.
That’s where Saurashtra make a bowling change. They get Yuvrajsinh Dodiya on to bowl. The off-spinner has a knack for getting key wickets, but Pant isn’t in the mood for wickets. He’s just hit him for a one-handed six over the leg-side boundary.
How is he doing that?
Pant now delivers another vital blow with a four through the point region. He’s just making a mockery out of this wonderful Saurashtra bowling unit. The runs are flowing, he’s already raced to 42 off 16 deliveries. He’s got to his half-century with a six. Oh, Pant, never change.
But with Delhi well placed at 140/2, the left-hander tries to knock Yuvrajsinh again, only for him to chip the ball straight into the hands of the deep midwicket fielder. Pant has lost it, and Delhi have now crashed from 140/3 to 210 all-out, in just one session.
Luckily for Delhi, their captain Kohli can still sledge at the opposition and uplift the team’s morale. Delhi’s returning superstar Ishant Sharma makes early breakthroughs in the clash, and Saurashtra is reeling at 51/4.
Look at Kohli; he has already sledged Pujara and is running an entire mile to celebrate wildly in front of the white-ball sensation and former KKR superstar Sheldon Jackson as Ishant picks his fourth of the day.
Will that be enough for BCCI to ask Ishant to come out of retirement for the England series?
However, the crowd and selectors were satisfied, and certainly, the fans on social media were delighted by Kohli’s sledges, they feel that the ‘King’ is back. He’s, after all, India’s Mr Fix It. And the only thing he’s been struggling to fix has been his form.
Elsewhere, far away from Rajkot and Mumbai, Ravichandran Ashwin is leading Tamil Nadu in a crucial fixture against Chandigarh…..
