Past few months were depressing, not easy for me at all: Ishan Kishan

When Ishan Kishan opted for a break from international cricket ahead of the South Africa tour last year, he did not turn up to play for Jharkhand in domestic cricket and was consequently axed from BCCI's central contract. He was seen as a key part in all three formats for India, and his absence handed others a chance to grab on to their opportunities.

Kishan says that he suffered from "travel fatigue" and was not in the right frame of mind to play cricket at the highest level. According to the BCCI rules, when you are out of the squad for whatever reason, you have to perform at the domestic circuit to have a crack at making a comeback. That is what Kishan aims to do, but at the same time, he admits that the past few months have not been easy for him.

"It was depressing. Today, I don’t want to say that everything was fine. It was not easy for me at all. You go through a lot," Kishan said in an interview with Indian Express. 

"Mere dimag mey ye sab chalta raha ki yaar kya ho gaya, kyu ho gaya, mere saath kyu (Questions like what happened, why it happened started crossing my mind). All these things happened when I was performing."

During this time, Kishan says there were very few who understood his side of the story, and among them were his close family members, who kept supporting him.

"A sportsperson can deal with what people on the outside are saying. What stresses you out is how your parents are taking it. How they are dealing with it," he said. 

"When you get to know that they are equally affected, it hurts you and kills you from inside. But at that point in time, my family members were very supportive. They backed me and my decisions. They understood that I was not feeling well. They understood my situation. They never questioned it, but they rallied around me and never left me alone."

Kishan now aims to keep improving, perform well for Jharkhand, and return to the Indian side. "Keep myself fit and prepare for upcoming tournaments," Kishan said of his plans. 

"I am not thinking too much about the future. I want to stay in the present. At this point in time, I am only focused on how to become a better and different player from what I was six months ago. I will work on a few innovative shots and on my wicketkeeping. 

"These are the important things, rather than thinking about what happened in the past and what will happen in the future. I am waiting for the domestic season to kick off. I want to do well for Jharkhand and then let’s see."

India's domestic fixtures begin with the Duleep Trophy on September 5, followed by the Irani Cup in October. 

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